Kenya Starflight's Advice For Making it Through Fandemonium (Mostly) Alive and Sane

Kenya Starflight's Advice For Making it Through Fandemonium (Mostly) Alive and Sane

DISCLAIMER: Kenya Starflight and associates claim no responsibility for any injuries sustained from following these rules.

Opinions expressed here are opinions of the blogger only.

Also, I haven't been to any conventions outside of Fandemonium, so the rules and circumstances at other events may differ.

* Do not attempt to impress people by flaunting your knowledge of your particular fandom. There will ALWAYS be someone out there who knows more than you do.

* Take advantage of any and all free food and water, as you will generally be too overscheduled to take a lunch or dinner break.

* People who take naps in the convention center do so at their own risk.

* If programs are available, acquire one as soon as possible. These tend to run out FAST, and it's crucial you have one, as they often have handy information such as event schedules, maps of the convention center, rules and guidelines, and announcements of related events.

* Try to use the bathroom well before any scheduled costume contests or CosPlays. You don't want to have to hold it for forty-five minutes while waiting for everyone to touch up their makeup.

* Follow the 6-2-1 rule for conventions -- 6 hours of sleep, 2 meals, and 1 shower for every day of the convention.

* As a general rule, babies and young children at conventions are pretty much used to seeing weird stuff. So you generally won't freak them into a screaming fit if you approach them while in costume.

* Conversely, you just MIGHT freak the convention-venue employees out if you approach them in costume. Most of these people will have been working long hours and be on edge already. Don't make their jobs harder than they have to be.

* If selling stuff at a convention's Artist's Alley, don't expect to make a lot of money. In fact, count yourself lucky if you get your original investment back.

* If you happen to be selling stuff and someone says "I'll be back to buy later," assume they won't be. That's usually just a cop-out line.

* If you happen to be selling stuff, bring business cards and hand them out to anything living that comes within ten feet of your table. You never know what might come of it. (I sparked several sales and got a gamer-store owner to accept some statues on consignment just by asking if people wanted business cards.)

* It is not necessary to be familiar with whatever fandom is featured in a fanfilm or CosPlay in order to enjoy yourself.

* Be careful when bringing fake lightsabers to conventions. Young men at these events tend to be... how to put this... overeager, and are bound to make ribald jokes if you happen to hold your saber in the wrong place.

* If you are a straight young woman, try not to freak out when an admitted lesbian tells you that you look hot in your costume.

* If it is your goal to get through Fandemonium without being humiliated, then do NOT volunteer for ANYTHING!

* If, however, you came to Fandemonium to have a good time regardless of the humiliation factor, by all means volunteer for things. You just might have some fun.

* Stay away from any in-progress lightsaber duels unless you are wearing body armor.

* If you do something you consider cool, such as fighting a Han Solo lookalike while in Darth Vader armor, no one will remember seeing it.

* If, however, you do something incredibly stupid, such as doing a chicken impersonation in a Darth Vader costume, fifty people will remember seeing it AND someone will take pictures for the Fandemonium website.

* Be wary of events that require you to sign a legal waiver.

* Do not decline anything free. I'm totally serious on this one -- accept anything anyone gives you, even if you end up throwing it away five minutes later. If you turn someone down, they might not give anything to you again, and next time they might have something really cool to give away! (Over the three-day Fandemonium I received a convention program, a CosPlay program, a set of fairy-king goggles, a white T-shirt with "Fandemonium 2006" markered onto the front, countless flyers and business cards, a Snickers bar, a roll of Peppermint Lifesavers, a mystery novel written by a self-published author, a beautiful matted faerie picture, a cheapo fake Transformer action figure... and a mint-in-the-package Celebration III Darth Vader action figure with James Earl Jones-recorded Voice Box. Yes, totally free.)

* Don't laugh at the CosPlayers' costumes. They probably cost more than you make in a month.

* If you don't know what someone is dressed as, chances are they're an anime character.

* Don't engage in strenuous physical activity while wearing a heavy costume and mask. If you choose to do so, drink LOTS of water afterward.

* By all means visit neighboring businesses during lulls in the action and ham it up. Spread the word that there's a party going on and they should be there.

* While spreading the word, try not to get hit by a car. Masks generally don't offer a lot of peripheral vision.

* If bringing "fictional" characters to Fandemonium, let them know ahead of time that they'll be expected to stay on good behavior, that autographs will most likely be demanded, and it is usually illegal to kill fangirls even if said fangirls just pinched their rear end.

* Though it may seem like a good idea at the time, PLEASE do not bring a real weapon into the convention. It only invites trouble.

* If you're a fanfic writer, avoid workshops or seminars that promise to show you how to turn your fanfiction into real fiction, especially if the speaker is a published author. Most published authors have a fairly low opinion of fanfic writers and don't have a lot of useful things to say to them other than "Quit writing fanfic and write something publishable -- fanfic's useless!"

* If you choose to dress as Vader, be prepared to accept a lot of hugs. For some strange reason people like to hug and kiss Vader. Don't ask me why. (Also be prepared to wash off your mask when you get home.)

And lastly, have fun!

I shall return for Fandemonium 2007! (But I'm not selling anything next year, I'd rather attend for the fun of it...)