Remembrance

Our shuttle, the Amalthea, lands in the landing field just outside Rose's house in Kentucky. I put down the Jedi Trial book I've been trying to read (I think I read the same paragraph five times and still didn't absorb a word of it) and get up to leave with the rest of the passengers. Vader took off for Rose's house to help Prime and Company out in the aftermath of the battle, and now that I've mostly recovered from my concussion I've decided to join him.

Besides, we have something aboard the shuttle that just might interest people here.

I get off first, giving Vader a hug before turning to greet everyone else. "Hey there Rose, Prime, Mel... Agent Smith." I say the last with a grin.

Megatron scowls. "Not you too!"

"I gotta have my fun where I can find it," I retort. For those of you who don't get the joke, they've just announced that Hugo Weaving -- a.k.a. Agent Smith from Matrix, a.k.a. Elrond from Lord of the Rings, a.k.a. V from V For Vendetta -- will be providing Megatron's voice in the new Transformers movie this summer. I haven't seen any of the above films and so have no idea what Mr. Weaving sounds like, but that doesn't keep me from teasing the real deal.

"Did you come by yourself?" asks Vader.

"Nah, a few people insisted on coming with me," I reply, waving behind me.

Rose and Prime are probably expecting this, since I messaged her blog before leaving. But everyone else's jaws drop as Starscream and Rampage disembark, alive and well -- and looking quite glad to be home. They're followed by the other Transformers that had come to our place to watch over them -- Jetfire, First Aid, Sunstorm, Depthcharge, and Spiral.

"They're back!" exclaims Skywarp, and the Seekers promptly mob their leader. Rampage doesn't get quite as big of a welcome back, but everyone's apparently relieved that he's unharmed as well.

"Then the enteched have been revived?" asks Vader.

"Keily was able to rescue several of them," I reply. "Those two, and all of Luke's Padawans. But she and the Nobodies were attacked while in Babylon Palace, and they had to leave before they could get everyone else. That leaves Maul, Qui-gon, Crookwing, the dragonriders, and The Cheat still out."

He says a few colorful things I know he wouldn't try repeating at our house. "Blast Palpatine, blast Voldemort, blast Nemesis and Galvatron, blast Galbatorix..."

"Don't forget the French Air Corps," I reply, nodding at Will and Temeraire.

He seems to run out of steam there, though, and places his hands on my shoulders. "What about you? Are you all right?"

I start to say yes, but he holds a hand up to silence me. "And don't lie to me. We both know it doesn't work."

I sigh. "I had to pick a telepathic boyfriend. Okay, so I'm not perfectly fine. Parts of what happened at Babylon Palace are starting to come back to me."

He's silent a moment. "What parts?" he asks.

"The landing. The banquet. Seeing Dumbledore's body get cut down. Grievous dragging me away from a fire." I close my eyes, wishing I could block out the next scene.

"You remember something else," he presses. "Tell me."

I really don't want to. Because it involves him... and it hurts to remember. Not because he did anything to hurt me or anyone else I care about, but because I know he had to do something heartbreaking in order to save a life...

..."Padme, stop!" Vader barks, standing over Strong Bad's prone form like a wolf guarding its young. "Don't do this!"

The young Senator continues to advance, heedless of the smoking burns on her arms and torso, her once-beautiful features ugly with cruelty. She raises her blaster as if to finish Strong Bad off, changes her mind, and instead points it at Vader's chest.

"I don't want to hurt you," he tells her desperately. "But I will do what it takes to defend myself..."

She fires. He blocks the shot. I leave off shooting at a Death Eater and turn to help...

I'm hit from behind by a heavy blow, and I fall to my knees. I look up to see a grinning black dragon and his maniacally-laughing rider, the latter pointing a hand glowing with scarlet fire at me. I roll to avoid Galbatorix's shot, then get to my feet and point my blaster again.

Meleficent flies over at that moment, and Galbatorix leaves me to engage her in combat. I turn to help Vader again...

It's too late. She has already lunged, and with a scream of anguish he draws his weapon back for the final blow...

"I saw you cut Padme down," I say quietly.

He's silent. I want to kick myself for bringing it up. He doesn't deserve to be reminded of this... to feel that he has killed the woman he loved... even if he did it to save another...

"I did what I had to do," he replies, voice low and heavy with regret. "If I had not acted, she would have killed him. But I will never forgive myself for once again destroying her."

I sigh and embrace him, not knowing what else to do.

"It would explain why Strong Bad's been so out of sorts lately," I finally say. I never thought that the guy was capable of remorse or guilt, but then, the last few weeks have been full of surprises.

"Perhaps," Vader says at last, "I need to have a talk with him. Did he accompany you?"

"No, he's back at the barn. Wants to be there when The Cheat wakes up, he says."

"Then I will speak with him when we return." He turns to the house. "Shall we?"

I follow him and everyone else inside. Maybe being around these guys awhile will help me deal with the returning memories. After all, they faced horrific things in Babylon Palace as well. And if we can share our burdens with each other, perhaps they won't weigh so heavily upon us.