Crazy Fanfic Writer, Crazy Femme, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy...

Normally when I put song lyrics in a blog post, I put them at the end of the entry. Today, however, they're going at the beginning, just because they seem to sum up how I've been feeling lately.

I remember when
I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care, yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Possibly

Thanks, Gnarls Barkley, for saying it for me.

Indeed, life has become crazy. I'm helping to fight a war against who-knows-how-many supervillians, dating a former Dark Lord, and allowing the oddest collection of weirdos this side of Animal House to live on my property. I have a mini-dragon as a pet, a bustling medical center in the barn, a medical condition that caused me to turn into a horse once a month, and friends all over the planet who had similar issues on their respective properties. This war had turned my entire life upside down and topsy-turvy.

And I don't give a rip. Because when you realize you've gone crazy, you find an odd sense of serenity in that knowledge.

These were my thoughts earlier this evening as I sat on Rose's couch, watching Stranger Than Fiction with Vader, Rose, and a handful of Transformers who had nothing better to do. I'm getting better at recognizing these guys by sight, though I'm still getting the "coneheads" -- Thrust, Dirge, and Ramjet -- mixed up on a regular basis. For some reason Megatron finds this hilarious.

I'd seen this movie before (and really liked it despite not being a Will Ferril fan), but for some reason tonight I couldn't sit through it. Maybe because of the theme it dealt with -- what a person does when they're faced with the knowledge that their death is imminent. Or maybe I'd just had enough of people for the day. At any rate, I got up from the couch.

"I'm going to take a walk," I announced.

"Take a bodyguard," ordered Vader.

"Prime, all right if I steal Jazz?"

"Not a problem," he assured me, and the black-and-white mech got up from the floor and followed me outside.

Outside I walked out past the landing field, past the sleeping dragons of Will's company and the azure hulk of Saphira. Finding a spot of clear ground, I lay down and folded my arms behind my head, gazing up into the sky.

"Somethin' eatin' at ya, Kenya?" asked Jazz, laying down beside me in a similar pose.

I sighed. "I just feel that there's something more I can be doing," I told him. "That I SHOULD be doing. It doesn't feel right that I'm sitting around vegging here while elsewhere Voldemort and Galbatorix and Nemesis and who-knows-what-else is out gathering power or forces or whatever it is they need."

"Girl, there ain't a lot you or anyone else can do at this point," Jazz informed me. "Until we get more info on what's goin' on at Babylon Palace, there ain't a lot any of us can do. 'Cept sit tight and help each other out as much as we can."

I sigh again. "I know that's all we can do at this point. Doesn't mean I have to like it..."

Something rustles close by, and both of us sit up in a flash, guns drawn. Call us paranoid, I guess, but better paranoid than ambushed...

General Grievous stepped into view, arms raised. "Put them down already!"

"Don't sneak up on a mech like that," Jazz advised, lowering his gun.

"What's up?" I asked. "Any improvement on the home front?"

"No, and that's why I'm here," Grievous replied. "The comm line's down; we weren't able to raise you on the horn."

"The line's down?"

"That's what I said. Seems someone took out the communication relays." He gave me a serious look. "And Delta's gone."

I blinked. "What?"

"Delta's gone!" he repeated angrily. "How many times do I have to say it? This afternoon a black and gray semi truck stopped on the road in front of your house and just stayed there awhile. We sent troops out to check it out, but it took off before they could reach it. Delta went nuts and chased after it, and she hasn't come back."

"Oh no," I moaned. "She didn't try going off after Nemesis by herself, please don't tell me that!"

"It looks like that's the case," Grievous informed me. "Drache sent a party of troops to track them, but they haven't been able to pinpoint their exact locations yet."

I buried my face in my hands. As if things couldn't get any crazier...

"Come inside," Jazz invited Grievous. "You'd better report to Prime on this."

All I can say is Delta had better come home in one piece. Or else Nemesis is going to be hurting hard by the time my live-in crew and I are done with him.

Remembrance

Our shuttle, the Amalthea, lands in the landing field just outside Rose's house in Kentucky. I put down the Jedi Trial book I've been trying to read (I think I read the same paragraph five times and still didn't absorb a word of it) and get up to leave with the rest of the passengers. Vader took off for Rose's house to help Prime and Company out in the aftermath of the battle, and now that I've mostly recovered from my concussion I've decided to join him.

Besides, we have something aboard the shuttle that just might interest people here.

I get off first, giving Vader a hug before turning to greet everyone else. "Hey there Rose, Prime, Mel... Agent Smith." I say the last with a grin.

Megatron scowls. "Not you too!"

"I gotta have my fun where I can find it," I retort. For those of you who don't get the joke, they've just announced that Hugo Weaving -- a.k.a. Agent Smith from Matrix, a.k.a. Elrond from Lord of the Rings, a.k.a. V from V For Vendetta -- will be providing Megatron's voice in the new Transformers movie this summer. I haven't seen any of the above films and so have no idea what Mr. Weaving sounds like, but that doesn't keep me from teasing the real deal.

"Did you come by yourself?" asks Vader.

"Nah, a few people insisted on coming with me," I reply, waving behind me.

Rose and Prime are probably expecting this, since I messaged her blog before leaving. But everyone else's jaws drop as Starscream and Rampage disembark, alive and well -- and looking quite glad to be home. They're followed by the other Transformers that had come to our place to watch over them -- Jetfire, First Aid, Sunstorm, Depthcharge, and Spiral.

"They're back!" exclaims Skywarp, and the Seekers promptly mob their leader. Rampage doesn't get quite as big of a welcome back, but everyone's apparently relieved that he's unharmed as well.

"Then the enteched have been revived?" asks Vader.

"Keily was able to rescue several of them," I reply. "Those two, and all of Luke's Padawans. But she and the Nobodies were attacked while in Babylon Palace, and they had to leave before they could get everyone else. That leaves Maul, Qui-gon, Crookwing, the dragonriders, and The Cheat still out."

He says a few colorful things I know he wouldn't try repeating at our house. "Blast Palpatine, blast Voldemort, blast Nemesis and Galvatron, blast Galbatorix..."

"Don't forget the French Air Corps," I reply, nodding at Will and Temeraire.

He seems to run out of steam there, though, and places his hands on my shoulders. "What about you? Are you all right?"

I start to say yes, but he holds a hand up to silence me. "And don't lie to me. We both know it doesn't work."

I sigh. "I had to pick a telepathic boyfriend. Okay, so I'm not perfectly fine. Parts of what happened at Babylon Palace are starting to come back to me."

He's silent a moment. "What parts?" he asks.

"The landing. The banquet. Seeing Dumbledore's body get cut down. Grievous dragging me away from a fire." I close my eyes, wishing I could block out the next scene.

"You remember something else," he presses. "Tell me."

I really don't want to. Because it involves him... and it hurts to remember. Not because he did anything to hurt me or anyone else I care about, but because I know he had to do something heartbreaking in order to save a life...

..."Padme, stop!" Vader barks, standing over Strong Bad's prone form like a wolf guarding its young. "Don't do this!"

The young Senator continues to advance, heedless of the smoking burns on her arms and torso, her once-beautiful features ugly with cruelty. She raises her blaster as if to finish Strong Bad off, changes her mind, and instead points it at Vader's chest.

"I don't want to hurt you," he tells her desperately. "But I will do what it takes to defend myself..."

She fires. He blocks the shot. I leave off shooting at a Death Eater and turn to help...

I'm hit from behind by a heavy blow, and I fall to my knees. I look up to see a grinning black dragon and his maniacally-laughing rider, the latter pointing a hand glowing with scarlet fire at me. I roll to avoid Galbatorix's shot, then get to my feet and point my blaster again.

Meleficent flies over at that moment, and Galbatorix leaves me to engage her in combat. I turn to help Vader again...

It's too late. She has already lunged, and with a scream of anguish he draws his weapon back for the final blow...

"I saw you cut Padme down," I say quietly.

He's silent. I want to kick myself for bringing it up. He doesn't deserve to be reminded of this... to feel that he has killed the woman he loved... even if he did it to save another...

"I did what I had to do," he replies, voice low and heavy with regret. "If I had not acted, she would have killed him. But I will never forgive myself for once again destroying her."

I sigh and embrace him, not knowing what else to do.

"It would explain why Strong Bad's been so out of sorts lately," I finally say. I never thought that the guy was capable of remorse or guilt, but then, the last few weeks have been full of surprises.

"Perhaps," Vader says at last, "I need to have a talk with him. Did he accompany you?"

"No, he's back at the barn. Wants to be there when The Cheat wakes up, he says."

"Then I will speak with him when we return." He turns to the house. "Shall we?"

I follow him and everyone else inside. Maybe being around these guys awhile will help me deal with the returning memories. After all, they faced horrific things in Babylon Palace as well. And if we can share our burdens with each other, perhaps they won't weigh so heavily upon us.

Amnesia, Ghostly Visits, and Heart Shards

"Kenya, wake up."

I moan and open my eyes to see Vader at my side. "We there yet?"

"There and long gone," says Jango from the foot of my bed. "We arrived at Babylon Palace two days ago."

I frown. "Two days ago? Why can't I freakin' remember it, then? And where are we now?"

"Back home," Vader replies. "There was a battle... a bad one. You were knocked out fairly early on and have been unconscious ever since."

Why is it that whenever we have a Resistance battle, I always get conked somehow? "Everyone okay?"

"Physically, yes," Vader replies. "Otherwise..." He sinks into a chair at my bedside. "We are all very... shaken, I suppose. Terrible things happened..."

"Where's the laptop?" I ask. "If people are gonna keep being vague, I'll find out for myself."

Grievous brings the computer over, and I turn it on and set to checking blogs. It doesn't take me long to read about Babylon Palace, the battle in the arena, and Kyxiel's little Skywalker-worthy act during said battle. I have a suspicion who the white knight mentioned in Snape's last post is, and I'm relieved to know that Palpatine is gone, even if Voldemort is once again at large...

"They revived the dead?" I ask finally. "Soulless dead? They decided to go 'Army of Darkness' on us?"

Jango nods. "Padme was there... or her body was. As was Shmi. And my own parents and Mandalorian comrades..." He shudders.

I swallow apprehensively. "Anyone... from my family?"

"No... but faces you would have known," Grievous replies. "Dumbledore and several deceased Jedi, among others."

"They would have," I mutter. "Voldemort would have wanted to profane the Only One He Ever Feared somehow. And Palpatine just couldn't stop using people after death, could he?"

Vader seems to finally gain a little control of himself, and he stands. "I am headed to Kentucky shortly. Prime needs my support."

"Soon as I'm on my feet, I'll follow you," I tell him.

He nods and leaves.

"Anything else?" I ask, closing down the laptop.

"Yeah, Strong Bad's been in a funk since we got back," Jango replies. "He was completely gung-ho and ready to take on Palpatine single-handedly when we got there... but sometime during the course of the battle something broke his spirit. He's barely spoken, barely even left the barn... something's wrong, and we're not sure what. And that bothers me."

It bothers me too. I mean, if Strong Bad is depressed, something's REALLY wrong. That guy's either belligerent, angry, or ecstatic -- never depressed. I'll have to think about this.

Jango takes the laptop from me. "We'll go check on him."

"You do that."

They leave, and I stare at the ceiling as I ponder. Snape left a lot out of the last post he wrote. I wonder what else went on... and just how terrible Palpatine's demise was that Snape was glad Vader, who's probably seen it all, wasn't present...

"Kenya."

I sit up. "Who's there?"

A ghostly form steps out of the corner, offering me a smile. I recognize the white beard, the splendid cloak, and the stance and step of nobility, and I smile in return.

"I was wondering when you'd put in a ghostly appearance, Dooku."

"Circumstances have forced me to do so." He sighs and shakes his head. "I thought I had seen Sidious go as low as it was possible to go. I see now I was wrong."

"Nothing's too low for him. You know that."

"I only learned that when it was too late -- when Anakin had two lightsabers at my throat and Sidious was giving him the order to kill me. Thank the Force Anakin learned that lesson sooner than most."

I lean back in bed. "Why are you here now? The fight's over -- at least, I think it is. I don't remember it at all."

"There is still work to be done." He goes to my nightstand and extends a hand as if to set something there. "And this will help complete it."

He withdraws his hand, leaving a shard of glowing crystal. As I gaze at it, I feel the worry and stress begin to melt away, as if they were shadows chased off by a cleansing light. I realize what this must be... and that it seems appropriate that Dooku is the one to reveal it. After all, Keily had admired him and carried his lightsaber.

"The heart shard," I breathe. "Keily's Hope was in your grave."

Dooku nods.

"What do I do with it?"

"Ensure that it reaches Snape. He will know what to do with it."

"We'll get right on it."

He nods and vanishes.

I pick up the shard and carefully close it up in a small teak jewelry box. Then I punch a code into my comm, summoning Artoo.

"Take this out to Delta," I tell him. "Tell her to fly it to Montreal pronto."

He bleeps and takes the box, then scoots out.

I roll over and try to catch a little more sleep. The Force help me if the memory of the visit to Babylon Palace hits all at once. I don't have time in my schedule for a fit of hysteria.

Message From Palpatine

NOTE: To fully understand our latest developments, see the latest post on Keily's blog.

Also, a note of reminder -- the story contest is still open for entries.

I fold the letter I received from the owl a few hours ago and toss it aside, leaning against the wooden barn wall with a sigh. Even without the text of the letter before my eyes, though, I can't get the words out of my head. Curse word-perfect memory anyway...

Kenya,

You are cordially invited to attend a celebration marking the completion of my most humble of residences as well as my rebirth into this world. I am sure your schedule leaves you (as well as the rest of the Terran Resistance) with precious little free time, but I do hope that you are somehow able to attend, as a number of unique festivities have already been arranged. A courtesy shuttle has been provided for your convenience. It will arrive at 1 pm on the 20th of March at the destination of your choosing.

Sincerely,

Emperor Dantius Palpatine of Babylon Palace

The same letters received by Snape, Vader, Yoda, Luke, Prime, Rose, Megatron, and others... all bearing the same text. Letters arrogantly rubbing his victory in our faces... and possibly setting up an enormous trap.

"Kenya," Vader tells me, coming to stand before me, "we HAVE to go. If only to know what his next move is..."

"And paint a huge bulls-eye on our butts while we're at it?" I ask. "Vader, it's a trap. The Emperor's not exactly a guy you can trust, remember? This could all be a big set-up."

"I am aware of that."

"That plus everything else that's happened -- the kidnappings and entechments, Voldemort showing up, the bodies being stolen, the search for the heart shards..."

"This is the only way, Kenya. We may never have an opportunity like this again."

I sigh. "I still don't like it."

"Neither do I. But we have no choice."

I nod. "I guess we send a note back saying where he can send the shuttle. Preferably not here, I don't want to put my family in danger."

"He can always meet us at your father's house," Vader suggests wryly.

"Tempting, but no. Besides, he may try recruiting my father, and we don't want that."

He extends a hand and helps me up. Then he heads for the house to contact the other Resistance leaders while I go make the rounds among the new arrivals to make sure they feel welcome.

Heart shards... I have never heard of such a thing. Not being familiar with Kingdom Hearts, I'd never known that a heart could even be destroyed in such a manner. To think that pieces of someone's heart could be inside members of the Resistance... maybe Vader's carrying one and doesn't realize it...

Things are out of our control, and I don't like it one bit.

Let us all pray that whatever comes of this meeting, we can work it to our advantage.

Tom Marvolo Riddle... I Am Lord Voldemort

Until last night I hadn't had the displeasure of meeting Lord Voldemort face to face. I'd met other famous villians and so-called Dark Lords before. Palpatine, of course -- even been briefly possessed by his soul. Vader, Maul, and Dooku before they renounced the dark side and joined the Resistance. Grievous and both Fetts too, though I'm not sure if they count seeing as they claimed to be neutral before the war started. Galbatorix, briefly, and Unicron and Nemesis Prime from a distance. Not to mention various Vong, lycanthropes, Imperial soldiers, and what have you.

But not Voldemort... not until last night.

It started with a dog run. I'd taken the new pups, Chi-Chi and Mona (don't look at me, I didn't name them), outside to do their business and made a stop in the barn to check on our friends. No changes, First Aid and Too Onebee reported, for better or for worse. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or frustrated at that news.

"At least we know they are protected," Vader told me. "I thank Snape for that revelation." (For those who don't know -- Snape reported on Keily's blog that Keily's spirit has been watching over those who are enteched, which is a blessing considering we'd first thought there was something darker afoot...)

"Yes, but can they be restored?" asked Luke from where he sat next to one of the Tusken Padawans. "You've read that book, Kenya -- can entechment be reversed?"

"I don't know," I confessed. "The book didn't go into that. But Garrett Skywalker thinks it's possible to use the Force to reverse it."

Luke sighed. "I hope he's right."

I gave the farmboy a hug, then turned to go. On the way out I passed Starscream... and had to grin. Somehow, a tiger had found its way onto his body and was curled up on his cockpit, purring.

"Found a comfy spot, Hobbes?"

He opened one eye. "Cat therapy has actually been found to be beneficial to hospital patients. Don't knock it." He closed his eye and drowsed off again.

I left the barn and headed back for the house, passing more of our newly-arrived Resistance allies on the way. Over the past week more and more beings have stepped forward and offered their assistance, and I could only marvel at how quickly people can rally when they face a common foe. Calvin and Hobbes crash-landed in their cardboard-box time machine in the front yard the night before and had since been staying in Brandon's room. Colonel Hogan and his men were camped out in the pasture -- don't ask me how the inmates of a German WWII POW camp ended up in present-day Idaho, I'm not even sure myself. The Heralds of Valdemar went through a riding drill on their white, horse-like Companions. I knew they would all fight with us to the end; I only hoped their aid would help us turn the tide of this war.

I had just reached the door of the house when both pups started barking up a storm, bracing their legs as if about to take off running. I picked them up to keep them from bolting and turned to see what had gotten them riled up.

It's just Snape, I thought at first, relaxing. Then it hit me -- aw crap, I forgot, Voldemort switched bodies with Snape...

"Crucio!"

I hit the deck, dogs and all, and heard the spell hit the door with a horrific sizzle. I scrambled for my comm unit, hoping to raise an alarm...

"Do you really think backup will come in time to save you?" Voldemort sneered. "I can kill you in a heartbeat, I hope you realize..."

"Then why haven't you?" I demanded.

"Because I have other plans," he retorted. "No, I don't want you to die immediately. I want you and all allied with you to die knowing full well how hopeless your gallantly foolish little venture is. Do you honestly think a party of half-trained Force-users, a pack of mechanical freaks, and an army of peace-loving dragonriders is a match for me? And here His Highness was telling me to watch out, you and your friends were too clever..."

I smirked a little. Rule number one for any villian -- he can't kill anyone or perpetuate any foul deed without a long, rambling monologue that gives the protagonist time to escape and/or thwart him. I hit the "panic" button on my comm, yanked my blaster, and fired.

Voldemort staggered, clutching his leg and slapping at the flames on his robes. I scooped up the dogs and ran into the house, slamming the door.

"Mom, I'm going out to help fight a psycho Dark Lord, be back in a minute, don't go outside!" I shouted, handing her the pups and turning to go back out.

"All right, good luck, have fun," she replied. I swear, not much fazes that woman.

By the time I got out there, though, Voldemort was gone -- Apparated, probably. All the same, Drache and her troops were doing a thorough search of the property and doubling the guards at all points.

"You seem to be a magnet for trouble," Vader noted.

"Speak for yourself."

"Why do you suppose he came here? Just to deliver a threat?"

"I have no idea. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

"We've done nothing BUT wait all this time. I almost feel as if this war is all in the waiting."

"Maybe it's just the calm before the storm."

"Then we had best be prepared for it when it finally hits."

Everyone stay on guard. If Voldemort's showing up in person now, a full attack can't be too far behind.

The Answer Lies... in a Star Wars Novel?

As I walk from the house to the barn tonight I feel grateful for one blessing in this Force-forsaken mess we've gotten ourselves into -- that the barn is now heated. After a freakishly warm January and most of February, our corner of Idaho was hit with snow, rain, and freezing temperatures that rendered the roads a slick mess and made any amount of time outside at night pretty miserable. And with two new pups that need to be taken outside every hour on the hour to keep our carpets from being ruined any more than they already are, I've had more than my fill of the cold right now.

Luna and Luke sit on either side of Valdin Thrawn, one of Luke's top students. I give them a nod and head for the corner where one of our Transformer visitors, the medic First Aid, is busy checking on a dragonrider.

"Any changes?"

"Not that I can see," he replies.

"Are we any closer to finding out what happened to them?"

"I'm afraid not. I've done blood tests on the biologicals and energon tests on the mechs and found traces of some sort of magnetizing solution, but no other abnormalities."

I frown. Something about magnetizing solution in the bloodstream is ringing a foreboding bell, but I can't place it right now. I'll have to think on this.

I sigh and sit down at Qui-gon's bedside, wishing the Jedi would somehow regain consciousness and tell us what happened to him.

"Full moon tomorrow," notes Vader, glancing out the window. "I hope you are prepared."

I sigh. "Don't feel much like roaming the neighborhood. Not with all this stuff happening."

"Understandable."

Someone grumbles in a corner of the barn, and I look up to see Strong Bad digging through a box of old books. "There's nothing good in here," he huffs. "Not even any comic books or Stephen King..."

"I don't read a lot of comics, and Stephen King turns my stomach," I reply. "If you want one of those, tell me and I'll get some from work for you. Besides, those books are all either water-damaged or missing pages. We'll get around to throwing them away one of these days."

"What kind of freakin' weirdo doesn't like King?" he replies, throwing a book over his shoulder as he keeps digging.

Jango picks up the book Strong Bad chucked. "Why are you throwing away a Star Wars novel?"

"Because it's missing the last three chapters," I reply. "My sister got it from a thrift store for me without bothering to check if it was intact... hold it, what's the title on that?"

He checks. "Truce at Bakura. Why?"

I grab the book out of his hands and flip through it, seeking a particular page. Once I find it, I grab First Aid's hand and slap the open book into it.

"There!" I exclaim. "That's what's happened to them! They've been enteched!"

I have everyone's attention now, from Vader and Luke to the Transformers to even Strong Bad. Everyone, even those wearing masks, is giving me the same expression -- one that says loud and clear "Say what?"

"Read the passage I showed you, 'Aid," I tell the medic.

"Uh, okay..." The young mech skims through the pages I'd indicated. Halfway through the reading he seems to choke, and by the time he's through he looks ready to blow a few circuits.

"Can someone let us in on all this?" asks Luke, not happy with being left in the dark, so to speak.

"Entechment was used by a race of aliens called the Ssi-ruuk to create powerful battle droids and otherwise power their machinery and technology. Basically they would pump a human or other sentient body full of a magnetizing solution to alter their brainwaves enough that they were in tune with the entech equipment... then they would suck out the victim's life force and use it in a droid, force field, or other weapon or machinery."

"You think Voldemort has enteched our friends?" asks Vader.

"Not Moldy-Shorts," I reply. "He hates technology, remember. My bet is Palpatine's back from the dead in whatever incarnation... and he's amassing an army."

"Makes sense it does," Yoda says. "Some of our most powerful allies the victims were."

"And entechment also sucks away someone's sense of free will. So he'd have not only a powerful army, he'd have a powerful army obedient to his every command." I scowl. "One thing doesn't make sense, though."

"What's that?" asks Luna.

"Entechment usually kills the physical body of the victim," I reply. "These people shouldn't be alive if they've been enteched."

"So you give us the whole friggin' spiel on this entechment crap and it might not even be what happened to them," Strong Bad grumbles. "I freakin' hate this place..."

"No, it makes sense," First Aid replies, glaring at Strong Bad. "The elevated magnetic levels, not to mention needlemarks I've found on the victims... I'd say it's some form of entechment. Just not a complete form of it."

"Either that or someone or something is watching over our friends," Vader points out. "Someone extending protection, keeping them alive until we can rescue their souls."

I certainly hope we can save their souls. But we're in for a rough battle on that front. Because if Palpatine's around issuing orders, it means he's found a way out of Hell and gotten the mechanical body he needs to resurrect himself. The Ssi-ruuk are in league with Voldemort now, and if Palpatine is truly back the Quintessons are too. And we're short many of our best fighters at the time we need them the most.

It's only a matter of time now. The storm is brewing. The Resistance gears up for another battle, hopefully the last we have to face for a long time.